If ya ain't got no Xanax, make do with the AmEx!

First of all, let me just say that when me and Kelly are together, I'm not responsible for my (shopping) actions.

God love her, she flew down here week before last (left a week ago today) to show me some love since Ed's been gone. (I think she needed a break, too, but we're just gonna say her intentions were completely selfless) She did a great job keeping my mind off of my anxieties. Unfortunately, this is Tallahassee, and if it's not a Saturday (and a home game) there's nothing to do except...

GO TO THE MALL

*sense of impending doom*

Now, you'll refer to my last post about hoarding. That part is still true. But the part about my AmEx... not so much. I was having a particularly bad anxiety day. I don't know why. Maybe it was because I knew she was leaving... maybe it was because I was just plain weak. I don't know. All I DO know is that Gap was having a Buy One, Get One 1/2 off Sale and she left me alone in there! She didn't leave me alone in Victoria's Secret (but I only bought perfume!) and she didn't leave me alone in Bath and Body Works (where I only spent $8) and she didn't leave me alone in Traffic (where I got the CUTEST pair of brown knee boots for $25) but Gap... Gap was an epic fail.

I can say, though, that in addition to a couple other things, I got the 2 best fitting pairs of jeans in the WORLD. I heart them. AAANNNND they're a size 4. SO COMFORTABLE, not tight at all. Apparently it's all in the cut. I am a size 4, so long as the designer recognizes I gots hips. If not, then I'm like a size 25 with a BIG OL' GAP (pun intended) in the waist.

Hourglass figures are so overrated, y'all.

As we were leaving the mall, Kelly kinda chuckled and said "I cannot believe how much calmer you are after 2 hours in the mall and a few bags in your hand. You went from here (makes a motion above her head) to here (makes a motion at her waist) just like THAT." I said "See? I keep tellin' everyone that shopping cures my anxiety, but no one believes me. Now I got a witness. I ain't got no Xanax, so I make do with AmEx!"

But I can't make do with AmEx anymore. It's time to get back on the wagon. So AmEx is placed securely in my desk drawer here at work. Not to be used anytime soon. And I'm eating Ramen Noodles for lunch today.

How the mighty have fallen.

I have a confession to make...

I'm turning into a hoarder. I never dreamed it would happen to me. But it has.

I'm hoarding money.

Finally. I am FINALLY hoarding money. AND I'm not using my credit card. It's a frop'n miracle, y'all. It's amazing. See? I put the money in the bank, and then I don't go out to eat or go to the mall.

Or Target.

And then more money comes in before I can spend the money that was in there. Then I STILL don't go out to eat or to the mall.

Or Target.

And then MORE money comes in. Holy balls!

Now I ain't rich or nothin. Hardly. And I've always had "just enough" to pay my bills, but that was because I was buying what I wanted with my handy-dandy American Express (they heart me at AmEx... but they're about to hate me when I pay this sucker off in a couple months) I just did my bills for the week and I'll have a few hundred dollars left over AFTER I pay them... and by that time MORE money will have come in.

This could be the start of something truly beautiful. Sweet Baby Jesus, PLEASE let me remember this feeling always so I can STICK TO THIS.

AMEN.