"HAPPY BIRTHDAY, GISELE BUNDCHEN! YOU BIONIC BE-YOTCH!"
The only thing giving me comfort is the fact that no matter what, Gisele, you will ALWAYS be 10 days older than me. Always. You will also always look 25 times better than me. But that's because you're a billionaire. And bionic. And that's okay. Cause you're STILL older than me.
Hag.
Next subject!
You may remember in my previous post we discussed principle and my fierce dedication to it. I've had approximately 21 hours to reflect on that post and around hour 10, it dawned on me that there was a deeper issue at hand with they-who-shall-not-be-named and the fact that they haven't said anything to me (besides the obvious, previously discussed principle of the matter, of course).
But first. More background. (I'm such a historian. I know. But this is an integral part of not only my theory, but also who I am as a person, so humor me.)
When I read a book I can almost ALWAYS relate to at least one of the characters. That IS part of the reason we read, right? To escape into this imaginary world and say "Oh I would TOTALLY be like that!" Of all the books I've read (and BELIEVE ME, I've read A LOT) the two characters I most closely identify with- and have had people back me up on- are Stephenie Meyer's Bella and Margaret Mitchell's Scarlett O'Hara.
I have Bella's "Super Self-Control." I don't always wanna exercise it (We all know how bad Bella wanted her some human blood when she was on that first hunt with Edward!) but when it's truly necessary, I have it. I also agonize and agonize over a decision. But once the decision is made, the rest is follow through. I'm not one to go back on a decision and I'm grateful for that.
The one I REALLY embody though, is Scarlett. And it's not just because I'm half Irish. Today, I'm only going to bore you with one of the ways I'm like Scarlett. To list them all, and my subsequent admiration for this character, would take much more of an attention span than either you or I could muster.
*Sidebar: Kudos to Vivien Leigh and her British self rockin' that southern accent. AMERICANS can't rock that accent as well as you did. Thank you for not butchering it.*
I realize that some of you may not be as familiar with Gone With the Wind as I am. I seriously read this book when I was, like, 8 years old. And it's seriously about 4" thick. The movie is about 4 hours long... and they edited out half the book.
Gone With the Wind is both my favorite book EVER and my favorite movie EVER. (Yes, even more favorite than Twilight.)
The story begins abouuuuut 3 days before the Civil War breaks out with Scarlett as this spoiled little southern princess. Truly, her vanity gives mine a run for its money. She loved to look pretty and have the guys falling all over her. And boy did they. Those guys fought over who got to sit next to her at the Bar-B-Que.... then they fought over who could go get her dessert. Then the guy who she CHOSE (yes, CHOSE) to go get her dessert about passed out from happiness and declared his undying love to her.
That bitch had GAME, y'all.
But there was one guy she wanted- Ashley Wilkes. WHY she wanted Ashley Wilkes was a mystery to me for the longest time. (Personally, I thought the Tarleton Twins were MUCH cuter. And once we get to Rhett Butler? *swoon*) Anyways. Scartlett wanted her some Ashley Wilkes. But Ashley Wilkes only wanted him some Melanie Hamilton.
*'Nother Sidebar: Ashley and Melanie were first cousins. They got married. They had a kid. Can we say "EW!"? No wonder everyone thinks all the southerners are inbred. Thanks a lot, Margret Mitchell!*
This irritated Scarlett to NO. END. It didn't matter how pretty she was, how much money she had, or how many guys were panting after her, SHE. WANTED. ASHLEY. Now she'd amuse herself with other men in the meantime- there's a reason her full name is Scarlett O'Hara Hamilton Kennedy Butler- but she never took her eyes off the prize.
Anywho, as the story goes on, the war breaks out, all the women are left to fend for themselves and Scarlett ends up realizing just how mentally strong she really is. Them damn Yankees was NOT gonna beat her down. Sherman's stormin' Atlanta, you say? To hell with him! After the war was over and she was about the only family member left with enough kutzpa to take care of Tara (the plantation that was her heart and soul) she sees Ashley again. And Ashley sees Melanie again. And Scarlett's irritated again.
I don't wanna spoil the ending for you audience members that have yet to experience the awesomeness that is Gone With the Wind, but I will say this (because it's the point of this entire blog post and the reason you've humored me this long): When it's all said and done, Scarlett has an epiphany: It's not that she LOVED Ashley so much. She just wanted Ashley to want HER. She realized they really had NOTHING in common and once she got him that she would get bored in about 3 seconds. Of course she cared about him and loved him in her own way. But that true blue, deep, long-lasting love? Nah. She just hated that he wanted damn "mealy-mouthed" Melanie Hamilton over her. (That's a real quote, btw, "mealy-mouthed". That's how proper southern ladies cussed back then.)
So that's the root of my problem: I just want that twatwaffle to want me. By not texting or acknowledging my existence on a regular basis, I process that as "lack of interest" and get pissy. Sure I care, and we have a good time together. But when it comes down to it, that's the source of my irritation and bitterness: there's something out there (probably work) that's his "Melanie"... and it irritates me.
But not anymore. Nope. I'm cured. Or at least I'm on my way. Things have changed in my little corner of the south. People that have been a part of my life for a long time have done the impossible and changed in a way that has brought me more enjoyment than I've experienced in years. I'm going to be happy with my Rhett Butler, because he's the one that I really have the connection with. And in the end, that's what I need to focus on. Because that's what's going to bring me long-term happiness.
So I'll leave you with this: a fan made trailer of Gone With the Wind. It's the least I can do after giving you the massive headache you're now experiencing from reading this mess.
XOXO
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