No matter what path in life you choose, you'll never get EVERYONE to agree with it. And if you live your life for everyone else, you never get to live your own life. (<--- That's 'bout to be my FB status, y'all)
Anyone that knows me knows that I welcome the opinions of others, take them into consideration and then do whatever I dang well please. Know why? Cause *I* am the one that has to put head to pillow at night knowing that when I wake up the next day I have to live with the consequences of the actions I took the day before.
You know what else I've learned? People change over the years. And that's ok. I think it's called EVOLVING. (And I don't mean in the chimpanzee to human sense) I mean you live and learn. Literally. Things that were VERY black and white at 21, suddenly have a few shades of gray thrown in a decade later. A position in which you'd NEVER thought you'd budge or see another side of suddenly becomes crystal clear... from the other side.
And lastly, the hardest lesson I've had to learn- a true friend doesn't cut you out of their life b/c you make decisions they don't agree with. (<---Pardon my dangling participle) They may not talk to you as much... they dang sure won't agree with you... and you might get a head shake or two, but they DON'T cut you out and tell you "I can't have someone like you in my life"... simply because you aren't doing what they think you should. You aren't forcing your beliefs on them, you aren't trying to get them to join your gang, you aren't doing anything but sharing something that you think is really cool. And yet they still cut you out. Sad.
The good news is, I don't have to live with the consequences of that action. I mean, it sucks I won't have a relationship with that person anymore. But it's on their terms. I have no problem with them. If they decide that maybe they were a lil judgmental and double checked that name plate (that didn't say GOD on it) and call me up, I'll welcome them with open arms. Maybe that's dumb of me, but I've also learned that it really IS hard work to stay mad at someone. It really IS hard work to judge somebody up and down. So, I choose not to do it. (Assert my opinion? Yes. Call someone a dumbass? Yes. But cut a loved one out of my life cause they went a different way than I woulda gone? Heck no.)
To Wit: My best friend and I do not always agree on things. She does some things that really get my head to shaking. I assert my opinion and tell her I think she's being a dumbass and then you know what I do? Tell her I love her no matter what and change the subject to what does she think about that dude on that one episode of Millionaire Matchmaker. Know why? Cause I love her. Unconditionally. (Someone double check me, but I'm pretty sure that's in the Bible somewhere) She does the same thing to me. Shakes her head, calls me a dumbass and then we talk about what happened on the latest episode of Celebrity Rehab w/ Dr. Drew.
DISCLAIMER: If there's someone in your life who is a bad influence b/c they're harping on you constantly to do bad things then please, by all means, make arrangements to distance yourself. But I think having someone try to convince you to build a meth lab in your kitchen for em is in a whole nother league from sharing exciting news about a possible life change (that's not illegal).
I take great comfort in the fact that to call out people who exhibit this type of judgmental behavior and cutting of the ties (who also usually happen to be under the age of 25. Coincidence? I think not) would be depriving them of the EVOLVING I mentioned, above.
So to all my younger readers out there (ha. ha. This is funny because I have sooooo many readers.) Keep what Auntie Mandy has said in the back of your mind, but most importantly: KEEP YOUR MIND OPEN. Cause when you close it off... when you deal in absolutions... you back yourself into a corner. And that's a real hard place from which to extract yourself. (<---Proper English. SCORE!)
Hi Mandy, Thanks for your comment! You can blog stalk as much as you want ;) Looks like we have several mutual friends from Tallahassee. Must have missed you! Have a great day!
ReplyDelete