An Open Post to The Bloggess

For those of you who have yet to experience the awesomeness that is The Bloggess, what the heck is wrong with you?!? She's HILARIOUS. Much like with me, though, if bad language and a general lack of political correctness offends you, you probably shouldn't read her.

Anywho, the reason I write this is because the other day Jenny was talking about her cat Posey. Read that post and come back. Don't worry, I'll wait.

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While I cannot offer ACTUAL vampire blood. I DO (seem to) have an immortal rabbit. I haven't done a scientific analysis to see how compatible cat and rabbit blood is, but considering the rabbit blood is going into the cat (and not vice versa) and cats EAT rabbits, I think it's safe to say that their blood is compatible. My rabbit, Moe is nigh on 10 years old. Mo Fo won't DIE.

Now I pride myself on being an awesome caretaker. I've raised orphaned baby squirrels since I was a little girl and move wayward turtles off the road, lest they become roadkill. And my kid is still alive. I kept her going when she needed me most. But really, when I got Moe in April of 2002, I really didn't think he'd live more than a year or two. All the other newlyweds were getting rabbits, which is the reason I wanted one. Because my friend who'd just gotten married, HER husband bought HER a baby rabbit so I wanted a cute lil baby rabbit too! Dangit.

So with a great, heavy sigh Ed took me to the mall and there I found Moe. My pink-eyed, albino, bunny who I named Kujo initially, cause them damn eyes freaked me out, but somewhere "Moe" got thrown in there and stuck. Moe who I loved SO MUCH that when he was 2 1/2 (and had already outlived the other newlywed rabbits) I took to the vet because his eyes kept watering really bad. That's when I found out MOE WAS BLIND. "It's actually very common in albinos" the vet says. "Wow." I said "That explains SO. MUCH. Like why he always jumped when I went to pet him."

I feel the need to pause here and defend dear Moe's... disability. Moe may be blind, but he ain't stupid. (Obviously, the wanker's figured out a way to outlive most people's DOGS) He's a very proud bunny. He doesn't use sunglasses or a cane (or a guide) and still he's never run into anything. I also found out that bunnies have SUCH a sophisticated sense of smell that after a bit, they can tell, by smell WHO is touching them and whether that person is male or female. C'mon now, I don't care who you are, that's pretty frickin awesome!

Jenny, thanks to you, I have my own, desk-sized Beyonce. She went to Minnesota with me and she loved it. You've added HOURS to my lifespan from the laughs you've given me. Please let me help you keep your precious Posey going. Come take some of Mo's blood. It's the least I can offer after all you've done for me.